Joseph Githuku still shudders when he remembers the loss he suffered in the violence that followed the 2007 general elections in Kenya. The 41-year-old father of ten lost his pregnant wife and a two-year-old son in a fire as youths marauded Kiambaa village in the Uasin Gishu District of Kenya's Rift Valley.

Githuku's wife and ten children had sought refuge in a church with hundreds of women, children and the elderly, a place they believed would not be attacked by anyone.

The young men of the village hid elsewhere, away from the elderly, the women and the children, thinking the attackers would be after them.  As fate would have it, however, they were all wrong. The attackers let loose their anger and disappointment at Kenya's election results on the people who were hiding in the church.

"We were not prepared for the attacks. These people soaked mattresses, which they looted from various homes, in kerosene and then used them to light the church. They also threw in petrol bombs inside the church," Joseph claims.

Several people were killed in the stampede that followed as the crowd struggled to get out of the church.

"My eldest daughter was in this church as well. Fearing that she was going to die with her siblings, she started throwing those she could carry out through the window and helped the heavy ones to climb out. She could not see her mother and the little boy she was carrying and so she jumped out as well. Outside, the gang that had set the church on fire were beating those who were coming out…." His voice quivers and he goes silent for a while.

Young men who were hiding in the bushes saw the fire in the church and panicked but it was difficult to access the area.

To make matters even worse, another gang looted what they could from Joseph's home before setting it, the granary and the vegetable garden (shamba) on fire.

Githuku found his family in a police station 16 kilometres away but could not trace his wife and youngest son. They all hoped she had made it and was hiding somewhere. To avoid any further violence, he took his children to their grandparents in Central Kenya before going back to the Rift Valley to look for his wife.

The police had taken away all remains but searching through the debris on the spot where the church had once stood, he found a piece of cloth, part of a dress his wife had been wearing that fateful day. The realization that his wife and child had perished in the fire hit him hard.

Unable to do anything, he eventually found his way to a camp for those displaced by the violence at Eldoret where he stayed for six months, before the government encouraged people to return to their homes.

"Settling back here seemed like a nightmare and I thank IOM for the counselling they gave me while at the camp. This is the only organization that has followed us back to our homes. I had no house to return to and stayed in a tent at a transit site but IOM helped build me a house. They also recently gave seedlings, agro chemicals and fertilizers to returning farmers, what more could anyone ask for?" he asks.

Githuku was also able to finally find out what happened to his wife and child. A DNA test organized by the government confirmed they were among the 35 people who died in the church fire. Their remains were later buried in a grave at the Kiambaa church site.

Njeri Wamai, IOM's psychosocial support supervisor, says that now counselling can start again. "The burial was good for people like Joseph. It gives closure. The fact that he can speak about it and show people where the grave is, is a good sign. He is on the way to recovery. It's not always the case. There are many terrible cases and we are trying our best to handle them," she adds.

Githuku is keen on establishing good relations with his neighbours. "IOM has held meetings with us in a bid to establish peaceful relations with our neighbours. I understand the importance of peace and I volunteered to chair the peace meetings on behalf of all who were affected by the violence. I have decided to leave the past behind me. I may never forget but there is no use to dwelling in the past. My children are my driving force and I will live for the living. I may not know them but I forgive the people who burnt the church. I forgive them."

He is a little apprehensive about the elections that will be held again in the year 2012 but prays that a lesson has been learnt in the 2007 general elections.More immediately, he calls upon his fellow farmers not to sell the farm inputs they received from IOM to spend the money on non-essential things. "IOM may not be here tomorrow and we need to be able to stand on our own feet."

And that is just what he is doing.